The VR’s Most Hilarious Quest 

By: Lady Scale

Disclaimer: Actual disclaimers can be found in the first scenes of the fic. And Megs is still chibi-sized. 

Scene 4 

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INTRO: We see the outside of one of those humongous rich-owner house, and Rattrap^ARR in dragster mode going towards it. 

RT: ::transforming and walks on the drive looking smug:: 

Airrazor^ARR: “Hi, Rattrap!” 

RT: ::looks towards his left:: “Oh, hyah’, Bird-lady. Hi, Stripes.” 

[Next door, Airrazor and her husband, Tigertron^ARR, are replanting flowers in the garden.] 

Tigertron: “How was work today?” 

RT: “Uh… even’ful.” ::goes in the house:: 

AR: “What a nice young rat.” ::is not looking and accidentally snips Tigertron’s tail.” 

Tg: “AAAAIIIEEEEE!!!” ::jumps 20 ft.:: 

AR: “Whoops…” 

IN THE HOUSE: Rattrap locks the door behind him. 

Megatron^ARR: ::pops his head out of RT’s subspace pocket on his back:: “Guess who! So, did you miss me?” ::steps on his head and jumps off:: 

RT: “HEY!” 

M: ::walking casually around the hall:: “Oh Cybertron, I’m glad I was fired. Oh yeesss. In a few days they’ll be crawling on their knees and kissing my feet, begging me to get back. But I won’t! Oh noooo…” 

RT: “Uh, did’ya forget da’ part where’ ah didn’t invite ‘ya in?” 

M: ::scooping around on some newspapers on a table:: “-heh. In the meantime I will be attending multiple offers in other worlds. Ohh yeeessss. Any other world in the VR will-“ ::notices that day's newspaper:: “0_0 What the-*gasp*” 

[The front page of the news paper has the title “Beast Wars Megatron Banished!”, under it, “Rouge megalomaniac destroys VR Fic Studio” and under that, a picture of him of what looks like he’s trying to shield his face from the camera.] 

M: “;_; Who am I kidding. This is the end. My life is over! Oh NOOOooo!” 

RT: ::snatches the newspaper from him:: “Maybe ‘yah didn’t ‘ear me… GET OUT!!!” 

M: ::squints:: “Oh noooo, please! I’ll starve. I’ll have to eat envelope glue.-” ::notices a huge fish tank:: “-Hey! An all You-Can-Eat sushi bar!” ::sticks his face on the glass of a tank:: “Yumy-yum!” ::grabs a fish:: 

RT: o_o “’EY! No-nono-no!” 

[Megatron swallows the fish, but then Rattrap grabs him by the neck and sticks his hand down his throat.] 

RT: ::gets the fish and puts it back in the tank:: “Look’ere.” 

M: ::still in the death-lock:: “yesss…*cough* *cough*” 

RT: “Get outta’ boss-monkey’s house. Now.” ::squishes him flat like pancake:: 

M: ::goes around imitating like a harmonica:: *Pop!* ::hops and sits on a stool in front of a black piano, and stops in mid-start:: “Hold it.” ::looks back at Rattrap:: “You live with Optimus Primal^ARR?” 

RT: “Uh, yeah. ‘Yah know, just ‘fer a while…” 

M: ::looks like a spear just went through his chest:: “Oh noooo… I hit rock bottom… I’m actually hanging out with a security rat that lives in PRIMAL’S HOUSE!” ::cries with amine tears:: 

[Suddenly stops when he notices a huge poster of Optimus with lots of femmes on the wall, and next to that, a bookcase full of trophies.] 

M: ::reads the text on the poster:: “O_O Oi! He is the RICHEST BOT ALIVE?! AND A SUPER-SPY?!?!” -_-* “Oh, why that lucky son of a-“ 

RT: “Uh, ‘e’s just an actor ‘dat plays a billionaire spy.” 

M: ::accidentally tips over a golden trophy to the floor:: “Oops.” 

RT: “An’ dat was ‘is ‘Best Bot Actor’ 2003 award.” 

M: “Ingenious. An actor who plays a billionaire spy as a cover for BEING a billionaire spy playing an actor! In fact, I bet this whole house is a Super Spy Lair! Everything here is how they call ‘More Than Meets The Eye’! Oh yeeeessss…” 

RT: *shrug* ::walks around the room:: 

M: “You know, you could be protected by an invisible force-field around you this very moment!” ::throws a fake wax banana at Rattrap:: 

RT: ::the banana hits his head:: “YOUCH!” 

*RIIIIING!*  

M: “HA! It’s the force-field penetrating banana!” 

*RIIIIING!* 

RT: ::holds the side of his head:: “Ahright! Go on wit’a rantin’ weal ‘Ah ans’er myah’-“ 

[He notices that a high-tech remote with blinking lights is making the sound.] 

*RIIIIIING!* 

RT: 0_o “-….remote?....” ::picks it up, looks at it, puts it to his audio receptor:: “’Ello?” 

*RIIIIIING!* 

[Rattrap pushes a random number on it towards the TV, and a huge painting on the wall opposite from it opens up, showing Optimus’ face, who looks really uneasy, in a recording.] 

OP: “Rattrap…” 

RT: “Big Banana? …What’re ‘yah doin’ in dah paintin’?” 

OP: “I wanted to keep you out of this, …but there’s no one else I could trust…” ::looks back:: [“Get him!”] “Uh, wait a second.” [*Punch!* (grunt)]  

RT: “Uh, are ‘yah shootin’ a movie or somethin’?”  

M: ::munches on popcorn:: “A new random movie with Primal in it? Yeah, right…” ::sips his cola:: 

OP: [*TWACK!* (“ARGH!”)] “Ugh! Go to ‘Party Central’! Ask Deltaraka^ARR about the ‘Eye of Sargeras’!” 

[TM2 Db: “The Eye of Sargeras is from the ‘Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne’ game’] 

RT: “Eye of Sargeras? Uh, wat’s it like?” 

OP: ::looks around:: “A huge priceless gem. Find Deltaraka. She’ll tell you where it is!” 

RT: “Uh, don’t ‘yah think ‘ya should call ‘da ‘boys in blue’?” 

OP: ::unleashes a grenade and throws it off screen:: [(Uh oh!) *BOOM!* (AAAAAARGH!)] “No. No police.” 

RT: “Uh, Boss-Monkey? You okay?” 

OP: “I’m sorry I never told you this befooo-o-oore, but-!” ::is in a head-lock:: 

[The screen goes into static, and the painting closes] 

RT: 0_0 “Prih’mal?” 

M: “Gem?! I’m RICH!!!” ::huge dollar signs appear in his optics:: [Background goes crystal-y white and around him gems of all sizes and colors fall] “I’ve joined the aristocratic class!” 

RT: “I gotta’ save Prih’mal.” ::runs out:: 

M: “Oh, yesss, him too.” ::follows him:: “So, invite me in your mission! Oh yesss. Danger, hot babes, exploding bikinis, wolves hanging from helicopters!” ::opens a bottle of energon-champagne:: 

RT: ::equips himself with a lot of stuff:: 

M: “Oh yessss. From now on I’m through with being an actor, and that desk job! I shall live the adventure! Next stop, Party Central!”  

RT: “Okay, ‘ah’ll take our old car ‘bot.” ::goes into the garage:: 

M: “Oh, a sidekick spy bot, then!” 

RT: “He’s not a spy sidekick.” 

M: “Oh really. Primal’s a spy, he owns a spy car!” 

[We see Rattrap getting in Kup, the senior Autobot, who is in his badly rusted old alt mode.] 

RT: “Uh, we used tah’ deliver pizza’s with ‘da ol’ timer ‘ere.” 

Kup: “Who are you calling an ‘old timer’?!” 

M: ::gets in as well:: *whispers* “Secret pizzas?” 

RT: ::grabs him and throws him out the window:: 

M: “A spy-pie, maybe? Aye!” *Thump!* ::gets up and sticks his head in while Rattrap closes the window:: “Fine! Be that way, but I’m telling you, this is definitely a spy car-“ ::his head is squished in between the little gap:: “-Uh, little help here?” 

RT: ::punches him out of the gap and drives away, leaving a T-rex who is seeing stars:: -__-* “…Plum-face….”  

[The wrecked-y old van drives away, making a rusty choking sound]  

M: ::appears in the back seat:: “HEY!!!” 

RT: o_0 “AAAYE!” 

Kup: “Argh! Watch that truck!” ::goes left:: 

M: “You really sure this is a spy car? Because it looks absolutely nothing like a-“ 

*TWACK!* 

M: *_* ::falls in statis lock in the back seat:: 

Kup: “Make up your mind! You drive or I do?” 

RT: “Uh, you drive…” 

[Back in the garage, the doors close, and then, the floor opens up, revealing a snazzy cool black car, a.k.a., Mehmed^MP.] 

Mehmed: “HEHEHEHEHEAH! That idiot thought that KUP was the spy car? Whooo-boy, what a world…” 

 

End of Scene 4