Tests, Quiz's, Robots and Killers Oh My!
Pt.7. Why won't some one tell me who this 'Spears' Is?!

Note: Apparently I must say this, I am owned by Hasbro (first Omicron, then Megatron, now these idiots). Brittany Spears owns herself and ' Lucky' and 'I'm a Slave 4 U'. Lady Venom owns herself. This is my recounting of my first 'date'.

I watched Lady Venom from the cab. Still unsure about how I wound up in this mess, after all I never wanted a date, and she was adamant that I have it. Why are humans so fickle?

"Where to buddy?"

Huh? Oh, right the address. "Uhm, 33 McNeil Drive, do you know where it is?"

"Oh yea, sure, that's just down the road."

I sat in uncomfortable silence, my large frame cramped in this tiny mode of transportation. We pulled to a stop in front of a large dwelling colored white and blue; an awful color in my opinion. The driver honked the horn for me since I didn't think that I would be able to get back in after climbing out. I watched the door open as she pranced out.

She was dressed in a small black shirt that tastelessly showed her middle, and I couldn't understand why she had an 'earring' in her midsection. Her bottom half was clothed in a flashy, skintight black cloth. I had seen few humans on Omicron, and none had looked like she had. But I had seen some like her on the television. But the redheaded friend of Lady Venom had called them a very odd name… what was it…?

She opened the door and sat down beside me, instantly winding her arm through mine.

"I'm sooo glad that you came! I've got front row tickets too! We might even get an autograph!"

That must have been a good thing, because her emotions were sickeningly high.

"Uh, yea…great."

"How do I look? Do you like? I went to a lot of trouble over it."

"You look…like a hooker?" That was the word! Wonder what it means…

She pulled back to look at me, and I could hear the driver stifle some laughter.

"You… you think I look like a hooker?!"

I winced at the high pitched voice. By the Pit, even the widows' laugh never reached that pitch.

I watched her sputter for a moment before laughing it off and settling back down on my arm. If it weren't for that blasted purple tyrant still holding my spark, I would have rid myself of all the nuisances of this world a hundred times over. But as it were, I was stuck in a cab with a girl named Tiffany, whom Lady Venom had dubbed, 'The Barbie'.

Not that Lady Venom was a normal name either, she must have another, more human name. I should remember to ask her what it is later. I listened to Tiffany tell the driver where to go, and as we pulled up to the large open building. I could already feel the many different people around me. The many tastes, and smells. Fear, joy, many were indescribable through all that they were feeling. Including my date.

Grabbing my arm (I am tired of people weaker than me doing that, but went nonetheless), she pulled me inside. Clipping a tag of some sort to my chest, or no doubt the clothes that she saw. The large man stopped me by the door, looking me over, I could tell he didn't like me, even without being an empath. Tiffany said something to him, and we were admitted inside. The noise was deafening as we pushed our way to the front of the room.

I looked around, if we were here. Then where was this 'Brittany Spears'? I looked at Tiffany for a clue, but some thing on the large podium captivated her. I looked in the same direction and watched as a thin blonde woman walked out in a tiny, tiny top and a small warp around her bottom half.

Was this the famed 'Brittany Spears'? Hah! She looked like only a shadow of a normal human. She had a contraption around her head and over her mouth. And when she opened her mouth to say something, more shouts drowned her out. Tiffany grabbed my arm, jumping up and down, screaming nonsense in my ear.

When the crowd finally did quiet down enough to hear the person they had come to see, the music finally reached me, and it sounded odd. Not like the music had heard on Omicron, or in any of the bars on Cybertron. The lyrics were different, and didn't hold much meaning. But yet, this one woman had been able to make herself become an idol of worship amongst the younger generation.

I stood silently, trying to pick out the words of this one song.

This cannot be what made the fans love her. I must be hearing this wrong. But then again, with words such as this, it would explain why Lady Venom doesn't care for her.

I froze as Tiffany hugged onto me; this was one of the rules that I was supposed to be abiding by. But then again, I could have killed her on the way here and broken that rule too. But I was having too much fun taunting and teasing my keeper. She was much more easily doped, and more interesting than the others that have tried to rule my life. She never once called me a freak, nor did she ever try to control me… unless of course, I did something she disapproved of. But that was lessening as she grew to tolerate me.

Slag, what is wrong with this woman?!

I looked down as her hand began to go places I doubted Lady Venom would want them to go. I reached down and quickly placed her hand in mine to stop her. She seemed content, for now.

We stood for three more songs before there was an intermission, which was fine with me because Tiffany had trying to coax me into dancing. Something I didn't want to do after witnessing others dancing. The way they moved, it seemed as though many were having spasms.

The silence was deafening in my audios. I had turned them down until they were almost off in an attempt to drown out the infernal singing. Which meant that I didn't hear what she had said.

"Hey, Raphael! Did you want to get me a soda please?"

I looked down at the money I had in my hands; I had no idea what the currency was in this place, so I handed her the paper. She looked at it, then back up at me. A frown sitting predominately on her mouth.

"You aren't going to get it for me?"

I sighed; I really did not feel like leaving her. I had no idea where the concession stand was.

"Fine. Give me the money!" I snatched it back; barely hearing her yell out a Pepsi before the music came back on.

I shook my head. Humans must really learn how to sing good songs; they have no idea what they're missing.

After looking over some heads I found what I was looking for. Not wanting to get back into the large army of idiots, I took my time, allowing others in front of me (or, ignoring them so they went in front of me…either way, it bought me some time). Finally though, I overheard someone mention this being the last song. Grabbing the Pepsi and a Coke for myself I ploughed my way through the crowd to Tiffany. She took the pop gratefully, probably never realizing the about of time I had been gone.

"Wow, I can't believe that it's over! I had such a good time!"

We were outside in the cold night air, waiting for our taxi, and Tiffany sat by the exit, avidly watching the closed door.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked curiously, coming up behind the blonde.

"I'm waiting for Brittany Spears, I want to get an autograph! Don't you?" Her petite face turned up toward me, and I couldn't help but wonder why a woman the same age as Lady Venom acted completely different. They were

like fire and water.

A roar from behind me drowned out my train of thoughts as the doors

Tiffany had been watching opened up to reveal young human males looking into the crowd grim faced. The blonde Brittany standing between them. Tiffany shrieked and plunged her herself past the barricade, waving around a pen and paper like a maniac.

I watched her get her autograph, unimpressed. If she ever really did want to impress me, acting like a mech. child was not doing it.

"I got it!" She shoved the crinkled piece of paper in my face, absolutely thrilled by the fact that someone had made some lines on a piece of paper just for her.

"Good, here's our Taxi, get it."

She slid in without complaint, and I looked over the front seat in an attempt to check the time.

It was eleven thirty. Lady Venom should still be awake by the time I get back. And she'll undoubtedly want to hear about how everything went.

I think my growling scared her... Good...all these happy emotions were seriously getting on my nerves.

As the cab slowed to a stop outside her dwelling, she leaned over to me.

"I want to thank you for a really great time." She whispered. What was she doing?

"Uh, yeah... goodnight." I tried to backup but she leaned in when I moved.

Primus! Can't this little blob of flesh take the hint?

Finally, she pouted, "What? No goodnight kiss?"

......WHAT?!

"You can take that idea with you down to the Inferno! Now get out!"

I laughed when I saw the tears well up in her eyes. Humans were more fun to tease. They had less control of their emotions like the 'bots I knew.

I made the driver stay put until she went into the house.

Hahaahaaahahahah........ By the Pit it has been some time since I had this much fun! Albeit it is not physical pain or fear. But emotional pain is just as good!

Using the left over money to pay the man, I left for the apartment.

Thankfully Lady Venom had given me her spare key to let me inside. Coming down the hallway I smelled a delicious aroma and realized just how hungry I was. Opening the door I spotted Lady Venom's dark haired friend, Michelle cooking something in a pan.

Leaning over her shoulder I inhaled deeply, it smelled wonderful!

"You want some? I had made enough for three, but LV got called over to Jonathan's' house. So you can have her half."

Jonathan? Hmm... It was almost midnight. But why should I care? I am not her keeper.

"I was hungry, and decided to reheat some. But you probably haven't eaten yet have you? I didn't think so. Here, hand me that plate will ya Raph?"

Grr...I will never get use to that name!

I handed her the p, and she plate and she spooned some of the mixture onto it for me. Taking a smaller portion for herself. Sitting down, I finished up the meatless meal, remembering that this friend was the animal lover.

At midnight I went into the room the room Lady Venom and I now shared, making myself comfortable on the large sofa. Shortly after, I heard Lady Venom tip toe inside. But I could tell even from the hallway that she was distressed. And slag if I didn't hear her crying into her pillow.

"Lady Venom? Is something wrong?"

"No, go back to sleep."

Right, like I could do that with an emotional woman lying next to me. I pulled aside the covers, preparing to turn on the light when her sudden fear stopped me.

"By the Pit something isn't wrong!" Why did she try to lie? She knew I would know.

"So what if it isn't.... Why should you care?"

"I don't, but I'll never be able to sleep until you calm down. The emotions are rolling off of you."

Damned females...

I listened as she sat up, and threw off the blankets. I could barely see her profile as she stared at me angrily.

 "Fine, I'll go sleep on the couch so you can get the rest you so richly deserve. And you can tell me in the morning how the concert went."

I listened to her leave. Why should I care, let her deal with it.... The more concerned she was about something other than me...the more freedom I had!

TBC