The Intergalactic Highway

Hey everyone,

Before I get into this post, I want to say sorry to all the new members of this forum. Some of you are just wonderful. Your enthusiasm is fantastic and touching and I'm glad that people are still joining the place and enjoying it. The following post might be upsetting to you, and I'm sorry it's coming at a time when you've just discovered something new and fun, but for me this website has a lot of history and affects me emotionally as I've poured my heart into it and so I need to say this.

I remember going online for the first time to look for anything Beast Wars related, since I had become a fan of the show and had started writing fan fiction about it before I knew what fan fiction was. I was thrilled to discover Beast Wars Anonymous and Ivyna J. Spyder's site. Ivy's site was in its heyday while BWA was on its way out, but both inspired me. I particularly looked up to Ivy's site and mused on what it'd be like to own a big fan fiction archive site like hers, without intending to ever run one. I started a personal webpage dedicated to Beast Wars and my other passion, F1 racing, and a few people found it via a couple of BW forums I posted at, and some of those people became my friends. Most notable are Dannn and Blaze Raptor, who I still keep up with today. They were with me from the beginning and it is largely due to their support (and a few other good friends I've made through the site over the years) and their spreading of the word that it is where it is today. They watched as it gathered more members, more fics from people other than myself and eventually forums. It moved five times to different URLs, getting bigger and better and having several makeovers. Suddenly, the site was very popular, and with the demise of BWA and the slowing down of Ivyna J Spyder's and The Realm of Insanity, it grew to become not only the largest purely Beast Wars fan fiction and art archive, but a major source of information. I went from updating it with a few fics now and then to every weekend, sometimes spending ridiculous hours of my weekend, between homework and a very difficult family life, to keep up with the sheer amount of content being sent to me and, of course, my own enthusiasm and ideas for it. I was excited at how many friends I was making through it, delighted that it made so many people happy and inspired by the support and enthusiasm the fans gave it. Even though it was very stressful to run at times, the rewards gained from it in terms of personal satisfaction and meeting some great people made it all worthwhile.

Well, Bwint.net has been going strong for 5 years now and up until recently, my enthusiasm had as well. This year, however, has been very trying for me. It's a helluva battle moving country, going from financially stable to financially weak, getting a full time job and coping with various other adult commitments. It wasn't just a hobby I kept during high school anymore - it was something I loved and fought to preserve during my hectic everyday life. I was feeling pretty jaded by the whole thing when my advertising campaign to get T-shirt sales on the site's store flopped (my good friend Blaze had provided me with the wonderful chibi Beast Warrior designs - too bad no one wanted to buy them). Then Botcon 06 came around and seeing how my website had banded together SO MANY friends who were so incredibly close, well, that gave me a kick of inspiration again. I thought, Yeah, it is a struggle to run, more so now than ever, but look how GOOD it has been for me in terms of friendships and experience, and look how good it has been for all those people laughing and chatting right before me. Surely that means something.

Reality has a nasty way of biting you in the butt, though, and reality did that with the flop of the Fan Fiction awards. I took it as a personal insult. Here I was, putting in hours of time I REALLY could do with using to, you know, sleep, eat, something other than WORK, and what support do I get? Barely any. I was furious, I was hurt; why didn't anyone care anymore? I admit I am a deeply emotional person and so I tend to overreact to things and I overreacted to that, but the responses I got in emails and on the forum made me realize a number of key facts that I hadn't really paid attention to until now. One of those facts is that Beast Wars is old. It's ten YEARS old. It has a good following for a 10 year old cartoon show, but it pales in comparison to other, larger mainstream cartoons like, for instance, the regular Transformers which keeps reviving itself in shows and toylines. It's seen two generations of BW fans, those from the days of BWA, and those post-BWA and now its seeing its third wave of fans, as some of the young newbies on this forum indicate. The problem is, each wave has been weaker and a telltale sign that the majority of fans have moved on, grown up and/or lost interest. It's not that people I care about don't care about me or my site, it's simply that they're too busy, too mature or too distracted for this now.

The realization hit me hard, because I have poured SO. MUCH. time, love, effort, blood, sweat, tears and money into keeping this thing going. It holds great significance to me. The thing is, though, that the amount of stress its slow deterioration is causing me, the hurt and the upset...it's not making running it worthwhile for me anymore.

I am stressed out, tired and very overworked at the moment, and on the advice of a few good friends, I'm not going to make any major decisions on the future of the site right now. I need time to clear my head and let things settle before I do that. I will say, however, that I am taking a break from the site to think things over. That means no updates until I feel like it. I'm not handing it over to Miss Special, either. Frankly, she's done enough and it's a pretty damn thankless job for her. I complain when I don't get appreciated now and then, but she virtually NEVER gets appreciated. She needs a break, too.

So here's my request: I'm asking something from you, the fans and visitors of this site. I've done a lot for you, directly or indirectly, by keeping this place up for your enjoyment, running it and putting up your fics etc. and I'd like a favour done in return. Please, please don't give me a hard time. There's been a lot of drama on these forums of late and people are verbally attacking both Miss Special and myself for doing our jobs as VERY patient and easy-going moderators (compared to many forums). We can't keep this place intact if people keep acting the way they have been. I know its only a few, but it only takes a few to tear up a board and this board is a symbol of the once-wonderful community we had (perhaps still have) going here and so, in my absence from the site, I ask that you do your best to keep it a fun place to come back to.

That's all I have to say on the matter for now.

It sounds like you've done a lot of work. Most admins of online boards just pay their $5 hosting a month and stomp around the place like they're important, so you're to be commended.

If you're interesting, I'm working on a very epic fanfic at the momement. In fact, so very epic, it can't be told in mere words; it's a comic! Yes! That automatically means it will be great.

If you're interested in having it as something that might attract more potential traffic(as in all honesty, it sounds like you need it; more people means more strain but also lots more more people to help) I'll show you the first issue or at least some of the images from it in the next week or two.

Are you interested? It might inspire you or something... I dunno... my comics are okay I guess.

and if i can help, im working on three nearly-finished-but-need-polishing at the mo. i really want to do everything i can to keep this board motivated. i seriously loved those shirts u were selling but still to young for credit card. and i'd just like to apologise for that pm i sent u, sapph. it may seem insensitive now but i hadn't read this post by the time i'd sent it. sorry.
might i suggest a bw bake sale? ( i no it seems pathetic but it is all i can think of as i have never known anyone who has ever run a website and dont know the system)

i think, if its so tough for u sapph, as much as id hate for it to happen, u might want to have just the site for BW, and not the forum. esp if its costing u MORE money for it.
i do feel bad that i havn't contributed enough, but i think i understand now that it might seem like we are all taking advantage of you. this is a haven you've blessed us with. i mean that.

but for now, gather your thoughts, but you'll need to prioretise. your work is more imp for u. i no this is ur passion and its the same for a lot of us, and its all thanks to you, sapph. uv done so much for us and i can see that u take pride in ur devotion to BW even though i havnt been there from the beginning. i wish i was. perhaps i might have been a little more of a help...

but if u do get rid of the forums to save money, perhaps all the friends we've made at BWInt can stay toghether by posting more fics and art. i know ill do the best i can.

stay strong sapph.

I should mention now that while I have invested money in the site, finances for the site are not the issue - we have enough in the site's bank account to pay for most of its renewal fee for NEXT year. I'm taking a break because I NEED one, that means no fics, art, comics etc. to put up for a while, because I (and Miss Spesh for 3 years) have been doing that nearly every weekend for the last five years of my life and I've had enough for the meantime. That's part of the reason I'm taking a break, though I feel I explained myself pretty well in my first post as to the other reasons.

Take as long a break as you need, Sapph-- what I said in the other thread about this still applies. I'm sorry you're going through such a tough period in your life right now. But you really shouldn't take this personally. I know it's easier said than done, but still...

I'm not sure how much I can say as it may not be my place.

However, as site treasurer, I can assure everyone that we stable money wise.

Sapphire...is one of the most amazing people I have met in my life. She has a lot on her plate already and finding the time it takes to do all the she does...it's incredible. I don't think I remember a time when she has taken a break from the site, so this one was coming.

No questions. Sapph needs this.

Take as long of a break as ya need, Saph. I've run a fair amount of sites back in the day, and I know how stressful it can be. *hug*

Though the contribution towards the site may not be satisfactory, keep in mind that we all love you and Miss Spesh, not only for what you two have done for the site, but because we're your friends.

Relax and enjoy a spa! Sapphire get the stress lifted off your shoulders and don't be pressured

For all the sites I had seen through this year, Yours was the one that felt like home and I hope that you enjoy your vacation!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

You have done one hell of a job, Sapphire and Miss Special. I know I haven't been here as long as others, but like I've said a few times before, I'm really, truly glad that I'm here.

I also know how much work goes into administorating a message board when I was offered the position before on another Transformers board. However, I haven't done it with building it myself from scratch; I had to earn the position. That must be more difficult than I can really imagine. Especially if you want the board to be successful, such as this one. I, too, ran out of time to keep up with it when I had things IRL to get done that were more important, so I resigned.

So, I personally wish to thank everyone, especially to the both of you, for your hard work and dedication. I don't think anyone here could've asked for anything more. And it's okay to take a break!

I love it here!

Sapphire wrote: I was feeling pretty jaded by the whole thing when my advertising campaign to get T-shirt sales on the site's store flopped (my good friend Blaze had provided me with the wonderful chibi Beast Warrior designs - too bad no one wanted to buy them).

We all have projects that start and fail, but one reason for this is that Bwint is a smaller community than some other Transformers websites. A smaller community made up of alot of young people it seems, or those without alot of extra cash to spend. Ontop of it all, people wont nessicarily find out about these shirts outside of our community. Once those in our community have them, that want them, then the demand dries up with sales.

Reality has a nasty way of biting you in the butt, though, and reality did that with the flop of the Fan Fiction awards. I took it as a personal insult. Here I was, putting in hours of time I REALLY could do with using to, you know, sleep, eat, something other than WORK, and what support do I get? Barely any. I was furious, I was hurt; why didn't anyone care anymore? I admit I am a deeply emotional person and so I tend to overreact to things and I overreacted to that, but the responses I got in emails and on the forum made me realize a number of key facts that I hadn't really paid attention to until now.

The Allspark, the other large TF board I go to, had it's big yearly award show flop in the last year or two or so because of lack of interest. People do care, I know I care. I would have sent in votes but I do not read enough fiction to have been able to do so. If I had, it would have been meaninglessly going though, grabbing random titles, and submitting it. I did not want to do that, to offer a hollow vote/nomnation so I just bowed out of it all together.

The work that went into it and failed *does* hurt. It is dissapointing, depressing. So I am not faulting you on being upsett, it was just an off year. People were either bus, or hadn't read enough to vote. It happens on newer boards, and older boards alike.

I'm not handing it over to Miss Special, either. Frankly, she's done enough and it's a pretty damn thankless job for her. I complain when I don't get appreciated now and then, but she virtually NEVER gets appreciated. She needs a break, too.

To be in it for the appreciation is not the right motivation, i'm sorry to say.
Sure it feels nice to be patted on the back and praised but that is not what running a website is about. You run it for the fandom, for the fans. You run it because you love it. Not to get back appreication. Appreciation is just a side effect. We *do* appreciate what you do Saph. We do love the site, the community. If we did not appreciate you, would people bother to show up at Saturday chats (which i look forward to every week I can attend) would people bother to send in art work.. fiction? Post on the board? We appreciate Miss Special too, both of you put in so much hard work.

When you leave the saturday chats, the chat dies. People come to see you, you are the life of the chat. The chat may stagger on for a while but once you are gone... it's all downhill from there.


Part of it Saph, is you are trying to do too much, all by yourself. That is a recipie for burnout. A site this big is a job. A site this big needs staff, people you can trust to keep an eye on things in your stead, or to take over when you are not able to keep up with demands. When the site takes up so much of your time without you enjoying it, with you stressing about it.. you need to look at other alternatives on how to go about running the site, be it finding people to code the fics for you, or put up a tutorial/template for people to code fics before they send them in (No code? it dosent get posted.) or what have you.

I may get groused at, or grumbled at for this.. but I felt what I had to say needed to be said.

Hope you get yourself sorted out Saph, because we love this place, and you, and we do not want to see it die or fade as others have.

~Melissa

Sapphire wrote:I should mention now that while I have invested money in the site, finances for the site are not the issue - we have enough in the site's bank account to pay for most of its renewal fee for NEXT year. I'm taking a break because I NEED one, that means no fics, art, comics etc. to put up for a while, because I (and Miss Spesh for 3 years) have been doing that nearly every weekend for the last five years of my life and I've had enough for the meantime. That's part of the reason I'm taking a break, though I feel I explained myself pretty well in my first post as to the other reasons.

I think you should try and find some oldbie who's willing to do that for you. A lot of people have these complaints in running a site but are too overprotective to accept help, and the site suffers as a result. I think it would be best to find someone who is willing to upload and fix things up.

The problem is, if you don't upload anything for a few months, people will disipate from the site, and it's already inactive enough as it is - and it will be even harder to find help because of that.

So in summary, find someone you trust to help you as soon as possible.

If Sapph needs time off, then she should get time OFF! It can really catch up to people when they're doing something like this for 5 years. If and when Sapph is ready to come back to this she will and she will let us know. In the meantime, we all should respect her decision.

If people start leaving the site, that's their choice. I'm sure you didn't mean it, KR but at this point the site is fine the way that it is and you don't need to push more uneccisary(sp?) stress on anyone.

Thank you Sapph for stating this as we have all noticed that the stress is getting to you. Have fun with your newly found free time and I will chat with you occationally on the Weekends. k?


WW

Take all the time you need for the break, Sapph. You've earned yourself a long vacation.

In the meantime, I think the site and the forum will be okay. Most of us are mature enough to handle ourselves.

Just be sure to relax and get as much rest as you can. Cheers!

You should take as much rest as you need Sapph, after 5 years of work you really deserve it.
I think things will go well, and with a good rest you can get a clear mind on what's to come.

Still thank you so much for what you've been doing to the site, and Miss Special as well. It's the best.

Rest well!

Like everyone else has said, but will never be said enough, we love you Saph, and take as long a vacation as you need. Don't worry about us

You've worked so very hard and managed to created the BEST Beast Wars site and forum I've ever seen. It really blew me away when VampireBA pointed it out to me, and even though I haven't been very active in the past year or so (with family issues, studies and what not), I still always linger about to check the site and forum because I love it. You've done an amazing job and you should be proud.

So take all the time you need.

Trust me, if I had the time on my hands, I would sit down and read every fanfic on this site, but unfortunatly, I'm a medical laboratory student and exam schedules are very hectic.