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Another Night at the ROV

By: Dannn Sanew

  It was another typical night at the Realm of Villainy. Where villains from the past, present, and future collide. At one particular table some of those villains were having a friendly game of Risk the Global Domination Game. The six players who are playing Risk are Megatron from Beast Wars, Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe, Saruman from Lord of the Rings, Darth Vader from Star Wars, Mumm-Ra from Thunder Cats, and Shredder from Teenage mutant ninja turtles.

                They were half way through the game. Megatron was Yellow, Cobra Commander was blue, Saruman was green, Darth Vader was black, Mumm-Ra was Sliver, and Shredder was red. Mumm-Ra only has most of Australia and Quebec left. Darth Vader has Iceland, Brazil, and most of North America. Megatron has Siam, Egypt, Siberia, Alaska, and Peru. Saruman has most of South America. Shredder has pretty much all of Europe and Africa. And Cobra Commander has most of Asia; he also has Central America, and New Guinea.

           It was Megatron’s turn. Damn I only have five territories left Megatron thought to himself as he took his three new armies and added them to his four armies in Alaska.

          “I attack Alberta.” Megatron said as he picks up his three red dice and rolls. It was five, two, and a one.

          “Foolish Megatron you can’t beat the dark side. You can only embrace it.” Darth Vader said as he rolls his two white dice. A four, and a three. Darth Vader lost one of his two armies and Megatron lost one of his.

          “What you talking about, the Darkside can be beaten. How do you think we got stranded on Earth?”

          “I’m not talking about the ship you dope, I’m talking about the force. Yes the force.”

          “Look like your force didn’t help you from getting killed.”

             “Hey this cool I’m playing Risk with a dead man!” Cobra Commander snickers.

           “Shut up before you join us!” Mumm-Ra snap.

            “YOU DARE MOCK ME!” Darth Vader said as he use the force to choke Megatron. “YOU BELIEVE IN THE FORCE NOW?” Darth Vader said as he release his grasp on Megatron. No one notices Mumm-Ra putting five extra armies to the one he had in Quebec and moving Saruman single army from Argentina. Then he put four of his own armies there.

            “Let’s get this over with.” Megatron said as he gasps for air and rolls. Just as one dice was about to land on a six, Vader uses the force to make it stop before it was suppose to making it a one. Megatron’s other two dice were a five and a two. Vader rolls a four. Vader loses his last army.

            “Ha, who’s your daddy?” Megatron said as he moves two of his armies into his new territory and pick up his risk card.

          “I don’t know, they never got into, they never got into that.” Vader said as he begins to cry.

            “There, there it’s all alright.” Saruman said as he pats a hysterical Vader on the back.

            “Let;s continue the game, I don’t have all day.”  Shredder said as stop punching Toad for leaning over him.

            “He’s right, you cry more than Terrorsaur.” Megatron said happily.

            “Your troops try to overthrow you all the time?” Cobra Commander asks.

            “All the time.”

            “Let me get one of my troops tell you what I did to them one time. Firefly get over here or I tell everyone your last name.” Cobra Commander said to a figure clad in a camouflage suit who was playing Uno with Boba Fett, Rampage, and Juggernaut. Firefly was glad to get out of the game before one of them found a reason to hurt him.

            “While the Commander came back gather up all the people whoever betrays him and had them buried them alive inside a cargo ship underneath a volcano. I was one of them. I escaped.” A grateful Firefly said.

            “So after what he did, you still work for him?” A confused Megatron said.

            “He paid good money.”

            “I think I’ll try that.” Tarantulas and Terrorsaur gulps. “Anyway I end my turn.” Saruman was next.

            “I hand in a set.” Saruman said as he handed in his set.